The Must-Have Foundation for Any Strong Writing Routine
Have you tried and failed to build a lasting writing habit time and time again?
You aren't alone. In fact, maintaining consistency in the face of creative turbulence (and the rollercoaster that is life) is something I've long struggled with myself.
Taking a break from writing when life gets tough is one thing. But when the slightest hint of upheaval repeatedly sends your creative practice into a tailspin, you know you have a bigger issue on your hands — and that is issue is almost certainly a lack of self-trust.
Not familiar with the phrase?
Self-trust is the assurance you have in your ability to follow through on your commitments. If you say you're going to write every day, then you write every day. Simple as that. On the rare occasion you do fail to meet your goal, you don't feel stressed, guilty, or ashamed because you know you'll get right back to writing again tomorrow.
In developing self-trust, you also reap a host of other benefits, such as:
You gain confidence in your ability to complete difficult creative work.
You tackle doubts and limiting beliefs with greater focus and resolve.
You push through creative resistance more easily.
You cultivate an awareness of your limitations and take proactive steps to avoid burnout.
You make consistent and measurable progress in your goals for your writing life.
Most importantly, developing self-trust helps you find a greater sense of joy and fulfillment in your writing life because you know you're doing your best by your creative work. Pretty awesome, right?
Unfortunately, the flip side of this coin isn't so pretty.
Without self-trust, you lack faith in your ability to achieve your writing goals. Even when you commit to building a creative practice, the tiniest shred of doubt or difficulty soon derails you because, deep down, you never really believed in yourself to begin with. Sound familiar?
Let’s talk about the surprisingly easy way to build self-trust...
The concept of self-trust may seem nebulous or unattainable, but generating faith in your ability to follow through on your commitments is actually quite simple. All you have to do is... well, follow through on your commitments. Easier said than done, you say?
Perhaps the issue is that you haven't made your commitments easy enough to achieve. Hear me out: Building self-trust may be a marathon endeavor, but to get started, all you need to do is get up from the metaphorical couch.
No one is asking you to run a marathon right away. If you want to become a runner, then you start by walking. Once around the block. Twice. Three times.
Then, when walking long distance finally feels easy, you start to jog. Just a little at first, taking frequent breaks to catch your breath. But over time, you start to jog further and further, until you hit a mile, two miles, three. It's only after months of work (or maybe even years) that you finally sign up for your first marathon, confident in your ability to complete it.
Building the level of self-trust required to become a consistent and prolific writer is much the same.
In his book Atomic Habits, author James Clear teaches that the easiest way to develop a new habit is through atomic growth — the first step of which is to set a daily goal so tiny that the ridiculous ease of completing it heartily outweighs the pull of resistance.
Floss one tooth. Do one push-up. Write one line.
So, are you ready to get started?
Whatever your definition of an "easy" writing goal, consider cutting it in half. And then maybe in half again. Seriously, start small. You don't have to limit yourself to fulfilling only this tiny goal each day (or on your writing days of choice), but you do need to set a goal you can consistently complete.
If you harbor even the slightest doubt that you're capable of completing your tiny goal day after day after day, then trim it down. Make your goal so easy that the thought of failing to fulfill it seems laughable. If setting such a tiny goal seems silly or stupid, then remind yourself that that's your ego talking — and there's no room for ego in the long, sweaty slog that is developing self-trust.
How to avoid slip-ups in your self-trust journey...
When you first begin to develop self-trust, your faith in yourself may be fragile. One tiny slip-up, and feelings of guilt and shame are likely to hit you like a Mack truck, especially if you have a long history of beating yourself up for failing to meet your self-imposed expectations.
To avoid a backslide into unhealthy territory, resist the urge to dive straight into your new atomic habit. Instead, take the time to set boundaries around your goal that will help you establish your personal definition of progress and success — and failure, too.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What exactly is my goal?
"I will write at least 100 words per writing session," is a great goal if you want to give yourself the leeway to write pretty much any 100 words in the world. Because make no mistake: No matter your intent, you will find ways to bend your self-imposed expectations when resistance rears its ugly head.
If your ultimate aim is to finish your first draft, then use that knowledge to clarify your tiny goal. For example: I want to write at least 100 words within chapter six per writing session. When you make your goal specific, you'll avoid the frustration (and lack of self-trust) that you would’ve experienced if you'd written 100 words of research notes or side-project material instead.
When exactly will I work to achieve this goal?
Again, clarity is key. If you're prone to procrastination, then saying that you'll write three days per week is a surefire way to set yourself up for a late-week, high-pressure dash to meet your goal. Instead, be specific.
Will you write Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings? Will you write for at least ten minutes on any weeknight you find yourself scrolling social media? Or maybe you'd benefit from writing for at least five minutes before heading out to work in the morning so you can spend more time with your kids at night.
When exactly can I break my goal?
Here's a hard truth you must accept: At some point, you're going to fail to complete your goal. You're going to miss a day, or maybe even a week (or longer), and that's okay. That's human. The key to avoiding a breach in self-trust is to break from your goal with intention, which you can do if you first establish when it's okay to choose not to write.
Will you intentionally break from your habit when you're feeling ill or have a headache? When you had insomnia the night before or had a horrible day at work? How about when your kids have a game or recital that you want to give your undivided attention?
By setting boundaries around when you won't write, you'll avoid the guilt and shame that often plague writers who break from their routines.
If you do unexpectedly fail to maintain your habit, then give yourself a little grace. Building self-trust isn't easy, and you're only human.
Instead, do your best to abide by the two-day rule: It's okay to miss a habit once, but never two days in a row. This simple boundary should help alleviate any feelings of failure you might experience when you genuinely mess up, helping you get right back to building self-trust tomorrow.
What if you repeatedly fail to build your writing routine?
Try not to shame yourself if you can’t seem to maintain your new practice. Repeatedly giving in to the pull of resistance doesn't mean that you'll never build self-trust; it means that something about the way you're attempting to build self-trust isn't working.
Take a step back to analyze the situation. Is your tiny goal not tiny enough? Are your boundaries too loose, or perhaps too strict? Have you set a goal that isn't conducive to your personal writing process, or are you trying to finish a project that you just don’t care to complete?
If you can't figure out where you went wrong, then take a deeper dive into your limiting beliefs. What lie(s) might you be telling yourself about what it means to be a "real" writer? Consider the following limiting beliefs:
Real writers write every day.
Real writers get up early to write.
Real writers don't write fan-fiction.
Real writers always plan their stories.
Real writers don't find writing difficult.
If any of these beliefs sound familiar, then they may be holding you back from building your writing practice. Consider taking the time to work through them ASAP.
How to maintain momentum as you build self-trust
After defining the tiny goal and boundaries that work for you, it's time to commit to your new writing practice. I recommend using a writing habit tracker to log your progress, at least for the first few weeks. When it feels like your five minutes of daily work isn’t amounting to much progress, a habit tracker can provide the visual evidence you need to maintain forward momentum.
As progress transforms into burgeoning self-trust, you may wish to further challenge yourself by increasing the goal you'll strive to achieve each day. Push yourself slowly. Avoid the urge to double-down, and instead allow one line to become two or five minutes to become six.
Remember, building self-trust takes time. It's far better to deepen your practice slowly than to delve headfirst into a goal that your shaky self-assurance can't maintain.
If you do have the energy and desire to write beyond your tiny goal on any given day, then go for it. But when it comes to increasing your goal itself, slow but steady wins the race. Give your self-trust the time it needs to grow deeper roots, and you can't go wrong.
Finally, recognize that it's okay not to increase your tiny goal if you so desire. If you can only write for ten minutes a day because that's what your busy schedule allows, then that's fine. All progress is good progress regardless of output, and there's no wrong way to be a writer. So long as you're finding joy and fulfillment in your creative practice, you're doing it right.
So, tell me, writer: Are you ready to begin your self-trust journey?
With slow, steady input, you'll prove to yourself that you're capable of doing the damn hard work. You'll make measurable strides toward completing long creative projects and find it all the easier to overcome the resistance that stands between you and a writing life you love. So keep writing and keep fighting, my friend. The best is yet to come.
