How to Overcome Perfectionism in Your Writing Life
Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
As writers, holding our work to high standards can help us craft sensational stories. But when those high standards aren’t accompanied by a healthy creative mindset, the seeds of perfectionism can take root. Why is this so dangerous?
In The Gifts of Imperfection, writer and research professor Brené Brown writes:
“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”
To put it simply: Perfectionism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more we try to avoid the pain of imperfection, the more we criticize ourselves for failing to attain the increasingly impossible standards we set for our work — until, at last, we burn ourselves out or fail to write entirely.
Learning how to detangle perfectionism from the roots of your writing life is essential if you want to find joy in your craft, finish your stories, and share your writing with the world.
How do you know if perfectionism is impacting your writing life?
Perfectionism can be tricky to self-diagnose. Like the prettiest of weeds, it often masquerades as something less dangerous: high standards. But the line between healthy and unhealthy self-imposed expectations can be a thin one.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with the desire to produce your best work and/or improve the quality of your writing and storytelling skills. But if you don’t first establish a healthy approach to self-improvement, then perfectionism may begin to manifest in some of the following ways:
You only write a few words before deciding that your work isn’t good enough to keep going.
You care more about the quality of your writing than your enjoyment of the act.
You grow frustrated by your output even when you’ve made significant progress.
You procrastinate writing because your standards feel too difficult to achieve.
You take an excessive amount of time to write or revise short passages.
You rewrite and edit your work excessively, even before finishing the first draft.
You get caught up in fixing trivial errors rather than addressing developmental story issues.
You experience feelings of inadequacy and shame when comparing your work to others’.
These perfectionist behaviors can wreak havoc on your writing life, leading you to fear and even loathe the blank page. But you don’t have to accept perfectionism as a reality in your writing life. You can begin taking steps today to curb your self-imposed expectations and reframe your high standards in a healthier light.
Five ways to combat the pull of perfectionism…
Learning to adopt a healthier approach to your self-imposed high standards requires mindfulness and intention. By recognizing the role perfectionism plays in your writing life, you’ve already taken the first step toward developing a healthier creative mindset. But to truly kick perfectionism to the curb, here are five action steps worth implementing ASAP:
#1: Practice positive affirmations
Perfectionism often stems from limiting beliefs, the false convictions that keep us from achieving our fullest potential.
As a writer with perfectionist tendencies, you may believe that your first draft must be as clean as possible, that your debut should be as masterful as your favorite author’s latest release, or that every sentence you write should flow in perfect cadence.
Whatever the limiting beliefs that feed your perfectionism, take time today to develop affirmations that counteract these lies (e.g. first drafts are meant to be messy, debut novels are a learning experience, done is better than perfect).
Review your affirmations daily, repeating them to yourself throughout the day and whenever your limiting beliefs rear their ugly heads. Remind yourself of the truth in these statements until those truths become your new beliefs.
#2: Shift your perspective
Perfectionism is only one lens through which you can view your work. The next time you find yourself exhibiting perfectionist behaviors, take a step back and try to view the situation in a more positive (or forgiving) light.
So, you got caught up in trying to make each word perfect and only wrote 100 words? Hey, that’s 100 more words than you had yesterday! Remind yourself that all progress is good progress and celebrate.
If you’re still feeling down, consider how you would encourage a younger writer struggling with the same issue. Would you be a little kinder? Would you praise them for their effort or offer them any specific advice?
Finally, the next time you find yourself obsessing over commas or struggling to name a new character, ask yourself whether it really matters. Is it worth your time to fiddle with a sentence that your editor will later correct? To find the perfect name for a character who might not survive your next draft?
#3: Set realistic expectations
Perfectionism often leads writers to develop impossible standards for their work. By intentionally setting more realistic expectations, you curb unhealthy pressure and reclaim a healthier view of what constitutes a job well done.
Work to reduce your expectations gradually. If you don’t feel satisfied unless you’ve written for an hour each night, try aiming for 50 minutes instead.
Setting goals based on input rather than output can also help alleviate the pressure many perfectionists feel to produce. Half an hour of good work is half an hour regardless of how many words you’re able to write or revise.
Adopting a more flexible mindset is also key to healthier expectations. Any number of factors can impact your productivity on any given day. Writing 300 words when you usually write 500 is still progress worth celebrating.
#4: Purposefully fall short
If you’re ready to level up your fight against perfectionism, try intentionally failing to meet your expectations. Write 500 words rather than 1,000. Set a 20-minute timer and write as much as possible regardless of how it reads.
Lean into the discomfort you feel during this experiment, and use this time to actively shift your perspective and practice your affirmations. Allow this time to teach you that “failure” isn’t fatal. It’s a perception that you can change or a misstep from which you can grow.
#5: Celebrate your successes
Perfectionism is a deep-rooted psychological issue that often requires a significant amount of time and effort to resolve. Don’t hesitate to celebrate each step you take toward developing a healthier creative mindset.
By acknowledging and rewarding your effort, you reaffirm the importance of your journey and motivate yourself to keep fighting for a better creative future.
Overcoming perfectionism in your writing life is not a linear journey. You’re going to experience ups and downs, grow frustrated with perceived failures, and wonder why you should even bother.
Don’t let the struggle defeat you. Unlearning harmful mindsets and behaviors takes time. You might find it difficult to recognize your progress at first glance, but hindsight is 20/20. Keep fighting, keep celebrating your successes, and keep writing. Your best writing life is yours to claim.
Is there a gap between where you are and where you’d like to be in your writing life?
Learn to harness simple techniques that can help you win your inner creative battles, finish projects you can be proud to share with the world, and work with focus to turn your writing dreams into reality.
